This year I am branching out, shedding the old skin that literally made me feel like I was being mummified alive and being the commander of my own ship. It's about damn time, is what my subconscious is screaming at me. Hopefully, I don't meet my demise like in Triangle of Sadness (thank god I don't eat seafood!)
The first thing on my agenda is "Singing". It's funny I've always had this lingering desire to sing, and whenever anyone asked me if I was a singer I'd get this lump in my throat and say, hesitantly "I sing talk" because I was so terrified they'd crucify me if they knew I wasn't a "professionally trained singer" and I wasn't doing it "right". When did self-expression become so highly critical? And you know what, I've had enough of being small, so this year I decided I'm throwing caution to the wind and being the protagonist of my own life. I'm saying "bye-bye baby" to those negative beliefs and allowing myself to step into my own light and shine.
So, it seemed completely serendipitous when I met with my mentor and she suggested I start singing to find joy in my voice. As an actor our voice is one of our main ways of linguistic communication, and singing is an extension of that. And in the lyrics of Cat Stevens:
"Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'Cause there's a million things to be
You know that there are."
On reflection I realised I was limiting myself. Because after my first singing lesson with the incredible Chris Nolan I found so much peace in letting go and singing. All his exercises and insights aligned with everything I pursue in my own life in regards to regulating the nervous system, the vagus nerve, and how one can not create if you are in a constant state of stress (Don't worry I'll talk more about this in future posts as it is an obsession of mine). There is so much freedom in rewiring your thoughts and changing the perspective of how you see yourself or what you think is what you are "supposed" to be doing, as an actor, writer, director, sculptor, or whatever your creative medium is. I sing now for the pure joy of it, to tell a story or express a feeling and no inner critic is telling me "that's wrong" or "your off pitch" because I am expressing my voice in the moment and quite frankly to hell with anyone who tries to tell me not to!
So what I'm saying is, If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out!